Squeezing the Life out of my Heart
10/28
Hannah developed an infection over the weekend and is also having stomach & digestive issues. My little banana girl has gotten needles, x-rays, blood tests & wires-all-over. They said she takes it amazingly well, doesn’t even cry a lot. She has amazing strength and power.
However, we were present when they did a test to make sure her IV was working, and she cried a loud, hurtful & painful cry. I felt like punching the wall, myself, or anything just because someone other than Hannah should be suffering. It immediately squeezed the life out of my heart, brain & self. You can’t know how painful that moment was unless you were me; parental torture for sure. I will always be proud of what she’s had to endure and will always admire & look up to her. You cannot know unless you’re here, believe me.
So I’m im Love? What’s the big deal?
10/29
Thanks so much Mark Stagi for donating your time & talent to come to the hospital to do your incredible, artistic photography work. Just fabulous, and you’ve made mom & I even that much more proud! Everyone, round of applause for Mark Stagi Photography, San Jose, CA
One IV needle every day 
11/2
Last week was tough, Hannah has had a big setback.
They say it’s a miracle she hasn’t more of these, as they are common for a Preemie born at 26 weeks.
Her digestion has slowed to a crawl, she was on antibiotics 10 days for a urinary tract infection, had to stop taking moms milk, had at least one IV needle every day (a big deal for those little preemie veins), and that tough little banana barely cried. She’s amazing! I held her from 10am until 3pm Sunday…Heaven! Infection is gone, feedings started slowly again, and she’s pooping a bit, thank god! I’ve been a total mess, out of my head. Can you imagine seeing your little baby go through such a horrendous ordeal? God please keep me rational in this most difficult time.
A Most Difficult Decision
11/7
My little pumpkin girl, Heather, 26, was married today in Los Angeles. The timing was awful, being that Hannah is in the middle of the digestive track setback. But this is also my daughter,
I cannot miss her wedding. Instead of leaving Thursday, we left Friday. The rehearsal dinner and wedding were spectacular!
Heather’s mom produced an event that I was so very proud to be a part of! Imagine these venues: St. Monica’s & Fairmont Santa Monica, CA!
Heather was so nervous as we stood outside the church. I told her that god was with us, and since this is our only walk up the aisle, let’s relax & enjoy it!
The church doors opened, everyone looked back at us, and it was exhilarating. You can see by the photo how incredibly beautiful Heather is. I was as proud as I’ve ever been!
As we walked down the aisle, I reflected about the 1500 weddings I’ve videotaped, and how I always thought about this moment. I’m giving away my little pumpkin while my little banana lays in the intensive care unit, having yet to experience being outside the hospital. I prayed they’d both be healthy & happy for the rest of their lives, than shed a couple thousand tears of pain & joy! Nobody present had to know.
A crucial moment for Hannah
11/9
This is a crucial moment for Hannah, as she’s had a problem digesting her food the last couple weeks. They’re about to place a dye in the special formula that they feed through a tube in her nose, and follow it through the stomach & digestive track. If it’s just moving slow than that’s OK, it’s most likely slow motility caused by the system not being fully developed yet. However, an obstruction would be bad news, and most likely require surgery. Please pray for Hannah.
Comic Relief: “the interruption of a serious incident by a short humorous episode.”
11/9
Tonight is my SF Comedy College, Improv Class Graduation performance. You need to have an outlet or two during difficult times to help keep your sanity, and not feel guilty about it. Making a crowd of folks laugh gives me a wonderful adrenaline rush, and it’s easily better than ANY self digested drug. I’m going to KILL, just knock them to their knees for Banana! Than I’ll drive back to San Jose, get to the hospital and hold Hannah late into the night.
My next Post will include the video highlights from our performance.
It’s not a Blockage!
11/11
The results came back negative on the blockage. They believe that her digestive track is still developing, and that in time things will start moving again. They also think it could be some sort of an allergy on moms milk. Poor mom is now on a Hypoallergenic diet to
see how Hannah reacts to it.
Mom & I had a little tiff last night on who was going to hold her longest 
This kid is going to get plenty of love!
I cannot wait to get her outta here.
